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  Okumura lived alone, so Orihara tried calling N. University Hospital, his former workplace. Coincidentally a physician classmate of his was working in the emergency room, and had told him to bring her immediately.

  “So I called the ambulance, but it took forever to come. I suppose it was because of all the people who slipped and got injured because of the snow.”

  When the ambulance finally did arrive to take them to N. University Hospital, the emergency room was packed with patients. After waiting in line and finally getting a consultation, Okumura was found to be suffering a heart attack after all, and was immediately charged to the hospital. Orihara had taken care of those procedures as well.

  “They charged her even though the beds were full. I helped out at the emergency room for a bit to say thank you.” Orihara smiled as he wiped his wet hair with the towel that Kento had passed him.

  “A senior doctor from my department happened to be there, and he milked me for all I was worth. That’s why I was late. I’m sorry for not calling you. I was also having trouble catching a taxi.”

  At least he hadn’t been in an accident. Kento was relieved just for that.

  “Go take a bath first and get warmed up.”

  After ushering Orihara into the bathroom, Kento put the pot of oden back on the stove. He must be nice by nature. I can see why his brother would say he goes out of his way for him. But it still remained a mystery why he had to be so meek around his own brother. As for helping out in the emergency room tonight, Kento was almost sure that Orihara had not been asked, but had offered to do so himself.

  He thought the occupation suited Orihara well; by nature, they needed to be meticulous and perceptive. Would he have become an athlete instead if he hadn’t been injured?

  They sat in the dining room, helping themselves to the well-cooked oden. Kento decided to take the leap and ask him.

  “Why did you become a doctor? Because of your family?”

  “That’s one factor,” Orihara said, after pausing to think for a little. “After I injured my leg, I started wanting to get involved in healing other athlete’s injuries. I’m a general surgeon now, but in a few years I’d like to become a sports surgeon.”

  Orihara took a sip from his can of beer before continuing.

  “Athletes suffer a lot of injuries. Sometimes they hurt themselves from training too hard.”

  “So you’re not going back to Kanazawa to run your family business?”

  Orihara’s face turned grave as he shook his head. “My older brother’s already taken after the family hospital, so it’s fine.”

  Kento put his chopsticks down and fidgeted in his chair.

  “Um, actually, Doctor, your brother called a while ago.”

  Orihara’s chopsticks paused, and the tofu fritter it had been holding dropped into his plate.

  “What…? What did he say?”

  “He said he’d call later,” Kento said shortly, avoiding his eyes.

  “Did he say anything else?”

  “No.”

  “Alright,” Orihara said brightly, unaware of Kento’s lie. He picked up the tofu fritter again and brought it to his mouth. “It’s delicious. Very flavourful,” he said. “Well, that was filling. Do you mind if I take a rest?”

  “Go ahead. I’ll clean up.” Kento watched from the sink as Orihara went into the living room and moved the rotary telephone to the table in front of the sofa. He then sat down and cradled his head in his hands. He was no doubt waiting for the call from his brother.

  Once he finished the dishes, Kento hesitantly returned to the living room just in time to hear the telephone ring. Orihara immediately picked it up.

  “Hello? Yes, it’s me.” His voice was quiet and hard to catch. Curious, Kento drew up closer. Orihara continued to speak, unaware that Kento was close by.

  “No, no, that’s not it. Please understand ? I’m not going to go home. Not until I get my doctorate. No, it’s not your fault. I didn’t mean to ? please, you don’t have to feel guilty. Don’t feel like you have to go out of your way for me.”

  Orihara shook his head as he listened to the voice that Kento could not hear.

  “Please… I’m going to hang up now. Bye.”

  After their conversation ended, Orihara put the receiver down, bowed his head deeply, and cradled it with both hands. He stayed in that position for a long time.

  Kento started getting worried, and took a step forward. He could tell that the man’s slender shoulders were trembling slightly.

  “Doctor,” he called out.

  “…Yes?” Orihara slowly turned to him. He took off his glasses and put them down on the table before scrubbing his eyes with both hands.

  “What’s wrong, Doctor? Did you get into a fight with your brother?”

  His eyes were bloodshot. Kento realized that the man was crying.

  “Did your brother get mad at you?”

  “No. No… that’s not it.” Orihara forced a smile and shook his head, but his expression was like that of a bullied child silently pleading for his parent to understand. Kento felt choked up.

  “Are you… on bad terms with your brother?”

  “That’s not it, either.” Orihara shook his head again. Kento watched as tears welled up in his eyes. Kento had always thought it was childish to show one’s tears ? that crying in front of others was the last thing an adult man should do.

  But Orihara’s tears told Kento of a story of deep sadness that even adults could do nothing about.

  “Doctor!” Kento went to Orihara’s side and put a hand on his shoulder. Orihara clung tightly to it.

  “All I do is… make people around me unhappy. Everyone suffers because of me. I should never have been born.”

  “What are you saying?”

  Kento held Orihara close as he continued to weep in a muffled voice. “I should never have been born,” he repeated tearfully.

  “That’s not true, Doctor.” Kento put one arm around Orihara, and hooked his other hand on the man’s chin and made him look up. Orihara stared up at him with watery eyes. A tear spilled over from the edge of his eye, and he bit his lip and screwed his eyes shut.

  “Doctor….”

  Before he knew it, he had brought his lips to the tear that rolled down Orihara’s cheek. Orihara flinched when Kento’s lips touched him, but he kept his eyes closed as he slid his arms up Kento’s back and hugged him. Kento held him tightly, trying to convey as much heat as he could to Orihara’s frozen body.

  The slender figure that trembled in his arms was drastically different from Kento’s impression of the mature, older man who had supported him until now. Kento rubbed him on the back like he would comfort a crying child. With his fingers, he touched Orihara’s thin lips.

  “Don’t cry.”

  He pressed his own lips against Orihara’s trembling ones. He pressed them over and over until the other man’s lips opened as if to invite him. Kento slid his tongue inside. A tense, breathy voice escaped from the other man, but he did not resist. Kento tangled his hot tongue with Orihara’s. Their heated kisses soon made his body temperature climb.

  Kento laid Orihara down on the sofa and let his hand slide against his skin. He could feel Orihara respond when he groped lower. Kento kissed him repeatedly and closed his fingers around the man’s member in a natural motion.

  Just once, he had done it before with a woman. She was an older woman he had met at a club in New York. She had put his condom on for him?done everything. Before he knew it, it had been over.

  If this was a woman he was doing it with right now, perhaps he would have been more hesitant. But the member in his hand was the same one as his own. All he had to do was do what he usually did by himself.

  It only took a moment for Kento to make the decision. With confidence, he began to move his fingers. When he rubbed the tip, Orihara let out a cry, but Kento leaned forward and put his weight on the other man, continuing to restrict his movements while pleasuring him.

  Af
ter that, Orihara only shook his head in resistance once, but eventually relaxed his body and lent himself to Kento.

  Doctor….

  Soon, Orihara’s began to drip with the same dew as his own, and Kento quickened the movement of his fingers. He did it like he did with himself, putting pressure on the small, round hole at the tip.

  The heavy snow falling around them shrouded their ragged breathing and slippery sounds, keeping them trapped inside the room. The breathing soon quickened its pitch, and ended in a short cry.

  Kento caught the hot liquid in his hand, and looked down at Orihara who lay underneath him, limp with his eyes closed, his body completely in Kento’s control.

  “Doctor, can I?” Kento whispered in his ear, and laid bare Orihara’s lower regions. He used the fluid in his hand as lubricant, which he applied to the man’s lower part. He then pushed himself inside. It was his first time, but for Kento, it was a very natural act.

  Orihara still had his eyes closed, but did not resist as he let Kento in. He curled up a little in pain as he accepted him, almost like a fetus connected to its mother inside the small womb.

  Doctor, I’ll protect you. He didn’t know from what, but he knew he wanted to protect Orihara from anything that hurt him, with anything it took.

  He gently held the man’s shoulders as he slowly slid in, then quickly pulled out. When Kento pulled his hips away, Orihara clung to his neck, almost as if to tell him not to go. Kento hastily lodged himself deep inside again.

  Orihara knitted his brow in pain, yet slightly turned up the corners of his mouth in a smile. Kento felt his heart swell with love so much that he couldn’t breathe, and gave him more kisses.

  Doctor, I love you. They were feelings he had realized for the first time, but Kento was not surprised. He had been in love for a long time.

  “Doctor, I love you. I love you? “When he put it into words, it felt even more concrete. “I love you.”

  He put his lips to Orihara’s ear and whispered his feelings. Orihara did not answer, but he felt the arms around his neck tighten. I’m sure he loves me, too. The thought made him happy, and made him move his hips faster. The pleasure mounted within him as Kento was swallowed up in the heat of Orihara’s body. As he thrust harder and harder, he felt himself reaching his limit. Kento whispered at the man’s ear again.

  “I want to come. Please, can I?”

  Orihara nodded wordlessly, and entwined his legs around Kento’s hips. Kento hoisted the man’s legs up and plunged deep inside. An almost electric shock of pleasure raced through him.

  “Doctor…!” The moment he released himself deep inside the man, he felt something hot splatter on his belly. When he looked down, he saw that Orihara had come as well. Kento traced the white liquid that trailed down both of their bellies with his finger.

  “I want to come more. I want you to come more, too.” He hoisted Orihara’s hips up again, and without even taking a break, he resumed his movements again.

  Kent woke in the early morning hours in Orihara’s bed. As they lazily reclined on the sofa, weary from their act, the night waned. Orihara had begun to say that he felt cold. Kento remembered moving to the bedroom on the second floor and crawling into bed together.

  “Doctor?” He called the man as he pushed himself up, but there was no one in the bedroom. He looked around and saw that he was in a Western-style room about thirty square metres in area. Apart from the bed by the window, there was a wooden bookshelf and desk, and a wardrobe. Both the desk with its stack of medical books and the bookshelf were worn. Kento imagined that they must be artifacts from when Orihara was living here during high school.

  I see. So Doctor used to study in this room.

  Kento tried waiting a few moments, but there was no sign of Orihara.

  “Doctor?” he called again. He heard the sound of footsteps on the stairs, followed by Orihara, who appeared wearing a bathrobe. He passed Kento’s clothes to him.

  “I’ve let you stay overnight without permission from your dorm. But the snow has let up now. You can go home by yourself, right?”

  “But…”

  Orihara remained turned away even as Kento quickly put his clothes on.

  “Doctor.” Kento touched Orihara’s robed shoulder.

  “Let’s talk about this later,” Orihara said, still looking down. “You have to go to school. You can’t be absent from class.”

  I want to be with you here like this forever, Kento wanted to say, but managed to swallow the words on the tip of his tongue. Even he could tell from Orihara’s demeanour that saying so would only add to his troubles.

  Is he angry about yesterday? Maybe he was just being bashful. I hope that’s what it is.

  It was definitely true that he was in love with Orihara. Kento had always imagined that two people, after a night of making love, would spend the next morning savouring their happiness. Of course, he had only seen it happen in TV shows and movies.

  But here was Orihara’s back to him, sending a clear signal of rejection, which made Kento feel confused. Did that mean that Orihara did not love him back? Or maybe he’s disappointed in me. No; that couldn’t be true. Orihara had come so many times. He must only be embarrassed. He was moaning so much, after all.

  “Alright,” Kento agreed. Orihara finally turned to face him. For a while, he looked like he wanted to say something, but instead he sighed and moved towards the wardrobe. He took out a thick coat and draped it over Kento’s shoulders.

  “It’s cold outside. Be careful.”

  “Doctor….”

  Kento knew for sure now that Orihara hadn’t come to hate him from what happened yesterday.

  “See you later, then,” he said brightly, leaving the bedroom. Orihara did not see him to the door.

  Kento impatiently waited for classes to end, but when class let out, he and the rest of the students in the dormitory were made to do some volunteer work shoveling the snow that had piled ten centimetres high last night.

  They received grateful comments from female-only households and seniors living alone, but Kento was halfhearted at best in his replies as he continued to shovel doggedly.

  When the work was finally over, he headed towards Miyashita Clinic, with the coat he had borrowed this morning in hand.

  “Doctor!” he called loudly at Orihara, who was still in the consultation room. Orihara was filling in a patient’s record at his desk, but smiled at him through his glasses.

  “The snow sure piled up last night, didn’t it? You must have been cold. I made some coffee, so have it inside.”

  They were the same kind words as usual, but to Kento they seemed all the more unnatural. He went up to Orihara and looked down at him.

  “Can I kiss you?” he asked.

  Orihara blushed furiously and sprung up, peering at Nurse Nakagawa sitting in reception. He took Kento’s hand and hurried to the living room. There, he sighed, sat Kento down on the sofa, and sat across from him on the armchair.

  “Kento, I’m sorry. I want you to forget what happened last night,” he said, bowing his head in apology.

  “What do you mean? We had sex yesterday. Are you telling me to forget about it?”

  Orihara furrowed his brow and looked up with concern at Kento.

  “I shouldn’t have done that. I regret it, actually, doing something so immature ? doing something like that with someone who’s too young to even know what it means. I’ve committed a crime.”

  His voice was soft, but Kento had never expected to be rejected outright like this. He swallowed his words and glared at Orihara.

  “What I did was immoral. I’m really sorry.”

  The blood rose to Kento’s head as he cut Orihara off. “I’m not a kid!” he blurted. “I know what we did ? I know what it means. It’s not immoral. I had sex with you because I love you! Isn’t it the same for you?”

  Orihara let out a great sigh. “I’m saying that’s what’s immature about you. You’re only sixteen. What you feel towards me isn�
�t love. It’s what you feel towards an older brother.”

  “No!” Kento yelled, cutting him off again. “I know how I feel without you telling me. I want to hear how you feel about me. How do you feel? Didn’t you have sex with me because you liked me?”

  Orihara faced him directly, his expression earnest. “Kento, I love you, but it’s like how I would feel towards a little brother. I’m not in love with you. But I let things get carried away. I let it develop into this. I’ll never do it again. I’m sorry. Please forget about it.”

  Kento was so caught with disbelief that he had no time to think of a protest. As he sat stunned, Orihara smiled at him.

  “Kento, feel free to visit again just like you’ve always done.”

  Kento almost wished Orihara had refused to see him anymore and told him never to visit again. Now he knew. Orihara really thought of him as a child, and thought of their sex as nothing but a mistake.

  Kento bit his lip. If he put up a fuss now, he would leave an even stronger impression on Orihara that he was a child. In that case, he had better ideas. He vowed he would someday make Orihara acknowledge him as an adult. Until then, he would put on an act.

  Kento lifted his face resolutely and smiled back at him.

  “I will. I hope you’ll teach me guitar again.”

  That night, Kento returned to his room thoroughly depressed, only to find another call was waiting from overseas. It was from his mother in London.

  “When does your spring break start?” she asked. “You’re coming down here, aren’t you?”

  An idea came to Kento just as his words of refusal were about to leave his mouth.

  “Um, I’m actually going to stay here for the spring break. I’ll visit during my exam break instead.” Entrance examinations for junior and senior high schools took place in the latter half of February, and students got a weeklong break. Most students who already attended Shonan for junior high usually got bumped up to senior high without a problem. Excluding those who had failed and had to take a re-test, Kento’s third-year junior high class also had a one-week holiday.